I realized today that it's been 20 days since my last post. When I posted on February 8th I was at 20 units of Lantus Solar Star insulin upon waking up, along with my Synthroid and my morning blood sugar reading. Then before breakfast, lunch and dinner, 5 units of Humalog insulin and blood sugar testing as well. Oh and lets not forget three iron pills a day and 4 fish oil gelcaps a day. The 4 blood sugar readings a day each week are helping my Dr. to determine an exact amount of insulin to help me. Each week, I submit my excel spreadsheet to my Dr's office, they review it and call me to make the adjustments. Each week I hope they will say for me to stay on the amount I am on, however, sadly no, they increase it. I am now currently at 35 units of Lantus and 15 units of Humolog pre-meals. My whole day is consumed with thinking about Diabetes or food. I am eating 6 small meals a day and that is making me very hungry all the time. Yesterday, I came home from work and had a blood sugar reading of 98 which is low for me. I realized that I didn't pack enough of a lunch for myself. I was so hungry that it took every fiber of my being not to eat every cracker or piece of bread in the house. I ate homemade leftover chili. The problem (for me) is that when I feel symptoms of low blood sugar, I eat and eat until I feel satisfied and by then, I have made horrible food choices. Yesterday, I had to really hold myself back and wait for my brain/stomach to register that I ate.
Exercise will no doubt help lower my numbers and maybe lower my insulin amounts. It's been rather cold out and very icy so walking outside is a bit of a challenge. I am been fortunate enough to horseback ride once a week. I am sorry I cancelled my gym membership now because I should be there. I wasn't using it as often as I had planned but every time my Dr. calls and she increases my insulin, I feel a pang of guilt for cancelling it.
I'm trying my best to eat perfectly, test my blood sugars, take my medication and do what I need to but it is all consuming and I would love to never see a blood sugar meter again or give myself a shot in my stomach again. I think that is the motivation I need to beat this disease.What I learned about myself this past month is that I can follow a regime and make it through a month without eating poorly.
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